Did you think I had lost my mind? I said this sentence on Friday night, when my daughter asked me if she could open a big tin of pineapple to have 1 slice out of it on her homemade pizza.
I looked at her and fighting back my tears, I realised I would normally say "No Grace, not a chance are you wasting a tin when it won't get eaten, just for one slice".
I smiled at her, put my arms around her and said "Of course you can, life is too short not to open the tin of pineapple".
Giving her a big cuddle, I took a minute to hold her closer than I normally would on an opportunistic hug in the kitchen.
I'd just had a call to tell me my Nana had died 10 minutes beforehand.
Some people will get this, others won't, but sadly one thing we all understand is losing a loved one.
My Nana and I had a very special relationship. One I'm not sure she had with anyone else. We enjoyed a lot of the same things, she would ask me about my cooking and how I managed to get my bread so white, she taught me to knit and to make corned beef pinaculty.
Family meant everything to her. She loved to tell anyone who would listed about different tales from all of our life times. It's only recently she started telling me how much she loved us all. I knew she did but it wasn't something we necessarily verbalised. She knew she was failing and so did I, we all did.
So no, I wasn't surprised when I got the call, but my heart broke and it is now slowly healing but in the knowledge that I will never see her again.
My post on Friday talked about a calm feeling that had taken hold of me that day. Make of that what you will. Maybe I knew it was coming.
I am taking time out as I need to, to remember her, little things and the waves of tears are already becoming less as less as I work on turning these feelings in to remembering the happy times.
So for today, this is my post.
Life continues, meals are being made, weeds are being pulled and the kids are still giving me grief and I will update you all soon.
Stay safe, Tracy x
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PS - the pineapple was eaten.
